I've always been like the Grinch. Hating Christmas and the holidays. I dont know, it stresses me out, depresses me, and forces me to see people i only have to see once a year.. and dont even want to see them that much.

I've never been able to get in to the mood for the holidays in the past five or six years. and i think its time to change that. But how? and why is it that the Holidays are the most depressing time of year for me? Is it because i have to see people i dont normally see? Is there a reason why i dont see them that i cant remember? Or is the past turmoil making me anxious and stressed.. when i should enjoy myself?

My to-do list is getting longer.
call your father
catch up on art work
clean your room
clean the bathroom
get a job
call your father
call your father
call your father
write the research paper
write the american film paper
the hamlet paper
call your father

I have gotten them all done except calling my father... and i dont know why. I just cant bring myself to call him, and the excuses are always numerous

i dont have enough time
it isnt a good time
i dont want to ruin my day
i dont want to talk to my step mom
ill do it later
ill do it tomorrow
and the list goes on and on